


My Confession

by KatherineTojo



Category: Love Live! School Idol Project
Genre: Angst, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-25
Updated: 2016-09-25
Packaged: 2018-08-17 06:34:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8133883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KatherineTojo/pseuds/KatherineTojo
Summary: Nozomi has been worrying about her feelings for Eli and finally gets the courage to tell her the truth.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing something from the pov of a character so I'm still getting used to it but other than that, I hope you enjoy the story!

It’s been three years since I introduced myself to Eli. Over those three years I could sense myself slowly start to feel something strong for her, I didn’t want to believe nor act on these feelings. When the feelings started, I didn’t really know what they were, but now I know exactly what they are. They’ve grown stronger and I’ve had to hide them ever since I started to understand them. I can’t let her know. It’ll ruin what we have already. I don’t want to lose her when she's already this close to me.

“Hey, Nozomi? Are you okay?” Eli looked at me with a bit of worry in her voice.

Eli was sitting beside me, I had totally forgotten. I was so filled with my own thoughts, I forgot where we were. I had invited Eli over to catch up on some schoolwork together. It was just an excuse to get closer to her. I’d never tell her that, though.

“Oh, yeah. Sorry, I was just thinking about this one problem.” I pointed out some problem I hadn’t started yet in the book. It was a lame excuse but she took it nonetheless.

“Do you want me to help you with it? It’s pretty simple actually.” She leaned over closer to me to get a better look at the question. This made me breath in sharply. She was so close to me and I wanted so badly to just hold her. I had to resist and brush it off, though.

“I-It’s fine, Elichi. I can figure it out later. I’ll just move on to a different question.” I hope she believes it and moves back. I don’t know how long I can keep resisting.

“Well, if you say so,” She moved back and sighed, looking at me and smiling. “Just know I’m here to help, okay?”

“Yeah, thank you.” I let a sigh escape. I don’t want homework to be all we’re going to do. I want to talk to her about other things. “Hey, do you think we could take a break? I’m getting kind of tired of all the school things.” I let my pencil drop and leaned back on the couch. 

“Sure. What else did you want to do then?” She left her things on the table and leaned back as well, she was staring at me, though, and I couldn’t help but stare into those beautiful eyes.

I looked away, I didn’t want to make her feel uncomfortable. I just stared at the book on the table. “Well… I kind of just wanted to spend the rest of the day with you so…” I gasped and panicked. What was I saying? I can’t tell her things like this, what if she finds them weird? 

“Is that so? That’s good. I like being with you, Nozomi. You make me happier than anyone else.” I looked over to her and saw she was smiling and her stare softened. I could feel myself start blushing and I didn’t know what to do.

I regained myself and quickly brushed it off. There’s no way she actually meant what she said. “I’m glad. You make me happy too, Elichi. I love being around you.” I kept letting things slip. If I keep this up then I’ll let something huge slip. 

“I’m really glad you’re my best friend.” She looked away from me and sat up straighter. 

_ Right, friend. That’s all I’ll ever be in her eyes. She’ll never want to be anything more than that. Why would she? I don’t deserve her. She’ll never love me the way I want her to. She’s perfect. She has everything anyone could ever want. Perfect body, gorgeousness, she’s smart, she’s good at everything. How could she love someone like me? I’m bigger than all of the other girls and I’m not good at anything. I’ll never be good enough for her.  _

“Yeah, me too.” I forced a smile so I wouldn’t end up worrying her.

“So what’s been on your mind lately, Nozomi? You’ve been acting kind of strange and out of it.” She sat up-right and rested her hands in her lap, looking at me. I could tell she was worried.

I sat up straight so I could look at her better. “Oh, it’s nothing. Don’t worry, Elichi~.” 

Eli pouted and kept persisting. “Nozomi… Please tell me. I feel like you don’t trust me when these things happen.”

“Really, it’s nothing. I was only thinking about a certain someone~.” I tried teasing her to see if she would get too embarrassed and drop it. I hoped she would do so. If not, this could turn out to have been a terrible idea.

“A certain someone?” She looked curious and it didn’t seem to have affected her a whole lot. I figured maybe if I made it more obvious then perhaps she’d be flustered.

“Oooh you know… The person I might have a crush on~.” I really hope that this would work. It was a very risky thing to say but… I really doubt Eli would ask more about it.

“A crush? ...Who?” She seemed more interested and a bit worried.

_ Stupid. I should’ve figured she’d ask. Now what will you do? Finally grow up and tell her how you really feel? You’re going to end up alone anyway so might as well.  _

“It’s a secret~.” I’ll just play it off. I can’t tell her, no matter what. She can never know.

“Nozomi, please tell me. I want to know. I won’t tell anyone!” Eli leaned in a little and her eyes were wide and bright, she acted like such a child sometimes.

“Hmm…” Just say it. What’s the point. I know what will happen. She’ll leave any other way so just say it. “You can’t get upset, okay?”

“I won’t! I promise!” Her face lit up.

_ Don’t promise like that. You’re just lying. Once you find out, you’ll leave me forever.  _

“Alright,” I inhaled. I was nervous and I couldn’t think well. I felt sick but I had to say it. “The person that I love…” My heart was racing, I tried hard to calm down. “Is you, Eli.” 

_ I could feel my heart sinking already, her happy expression faded quickly. She looked… Sad. I knew this would happen. I could’ve avoided it. Why am I so stupid? Why did I have to bring it up? I’m going to lose her forever and it’s all my fault. _

I stopped breathing when I heard her say, “I’m sorry.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it! If you want you could help and tell me what I could improve on in the comments! Thank you~!


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